Saturday, January 29, 2011

I Can't Even Imagine

I can't even imagine what a mother must feel like when her child turns up missing. I had been a little concerned about one my students recently. I had noticed a change since she had come back from Christmas break. She turned in her assignments late and just last week she had missed a clinical day. She had always been very respectful and responsible.
This Thursday as I drove my clinical sight, I though about the conversation I would have with her. I would talk to her about what was going on (as much as she would talk) and then I would tell her about how important it is to maintain balance. I would work with her to find ways to help her keep up. when I arrived the hospital she wasn't there. She usually carpooled with another student, but her carpool said she did come to the meeting place and she hadn't returned any of her calls.
I called her and left a message. I called her roommate but got nothing. I sent another student to her apartment on campus, nothing... I called the office to see if she had contacted them, still nothing.
I was at the hospital with 7 other students, but all I could think about was her. When I had seen her the day before she said something about being sorry her paperwork wasn't ready. I remember something different about her face and as she turned and went down the stairs, I resisted the urge to follow her and ask if she was ok.
A few hours into the shift, I finally got a call from the school vice president's office. They couldn't tell me much accept she was "having a medical emergency" but was now "safe and receiving care." I'm don't want to start making assumptions but I have strong feelings that I'm fairly certain of.
Such a sweet a girl, she is so intuitive and caring. I hate the helpless feeling of seeing her hurting but being unable to help her; of having seven more who are also concerned and asking questions but I can't say anything to them. If it feels like this to be a teacher, I can't even imagine what it feels like to be a mother.