The Lord has most recently been teaching me about what it means to be reconciled. September 21st was Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. I sat huddled on the floor in the corner of an overfilled sanctuary praying that no one would try to talk to me until I could sneak out during the Torah procession. Unfortunately the corner where I sat was also inhabited to several others of the BT 20s crowd so some type of greeting was pretty much unavoidable.
Feeling very insecure in the situation, I finally did something right and began to pray. I'm not even sure exactly what I was praying about, but the funny thing is that things like that never seem to matter to God. He had something He wanted to say to me and now was the perfect time.
"It's been 20 years, it is time... I want to reconcile you to the church, to my body and to my people. I have more for you than you can see now. Come with Me, trust me, and I will reconcile you to the church."
"God, I know this must be you speaking to me because my own mind would never say this. But what does this reconciliation look like?"
"Trust me and hold on tight because I'm about to show you."
I continued to pray and somehow made it to the end of service. Because it was the closing of Yom Kippur it was also the end of a fast. I was planning on bailing early while the rest of the congregation broke the fast together with a huge potluck. As I dashed for the door I hear a familiar voice say "Grab her." It was Israel, a guy I went to school with more than a decade ago. He was saying this to my friend Virginia as she captured me dragging me to the dreaded fellowship hall.
I must admit however, that I didn't put up much of a fight as I was thinking that perhaps this might be a taste of reconciliation to the church. So... I went to the potluck and ate at a table with other people and had a relatively normal conversation with them as well. I was quite proud of myself for this. "Ok God, I fellowshipped with the church. How did I do, wasn't that great?"
"That's not enough. I have more for you."
More? What could that be?
No comments:
Post a Comment